Ten Compliments Kids Need to Hear

24 Jul


Yesterdays post, Writing What I Know:  Praising My Childhood Roots, discussed appropriate praising of our children.  I listed research-based guidelines on healthy, appropriate accolades for children.

Today, I invite my readers to provide input for a “Clear Parent” list of suitable compliments.

I welcome ANY suggestions!

Thank God for Thursday!

Cate Pane

22 Responses to “Ten Compliments Kids Need to Hear”

  1. atimetoshare July 24, 2014 at 6:37 am #

    You are a precious gift from God.

    • Cate Pane: The Clear Parent July 24, 2014 at 4:05 pm #

      Love this! So very true and sometimes children (and adults) can be very self-critical and this is a great reminder! At an especially difficult period of my childhood, I remember seeing the sign, ”God doesn’t make junk!” It was like salve to my wound. Thanks for your input! Cate

  2. DarcSunshine July 24, 2014 at 6:40 am #

    Great post!

  3. Kevil July 24, 2014 at 7:45 am #

    Thank you for being you.

    (Enter act here) was very polite/thoughtful of you BECAUSE…

    • Cate Pane: The Clear Parent July 24, 2014 at 4:02 pm #

      Yes! Noting the polite/or thoughtful act and why it was important. I like “thank you for being you.” Absolutely lovely, Cate

  4. Donna Demeter July 24, 2014 at 7:46 am #

    When they do a kind deed for another human being when no one is paying attention

    • Cate Pane: The Clear Parent July 24, 2014 at 4:00 pm #

      Great compliment! Kindness is so important and complimenting this act helps to build the character trait. Love it! Cate

  5. April July 24, 2014 at 7:49 am #

    We tend to call our little girls princesses and beautiful but they also need to hear that they are equally brave and smart! I make sure to yell my girls how smart they are every day.

    • Cate Pane: The Clear Parent July 24, 2014 at 3:59 pm #

      Yes, being a princess and a beauty aren’t necessarily self-esteem builders. They can actually work against girls and women! Noticing when your girls are brave is a great compliment. As far as being “smart,” research suggests being it’s best to be specific about the achievement, rather than just telling the child they are smart. When “smart” kids experience difficulty, it can throw them for a loop because they think academic tasks should all come easily to them. Does that make sense? I have some great research references about this subject and have written about it previously in my blog. This is not a put down! We have all been learning this in recent years. Thank you for your comments! Cate

      • April July 24, 2014 at 4:04 pm #

        That actually makes perfect sense and will keep that in mind when telling my kids they are smart, I wouldn’t want them to feel frustrated when they have difficulty doing a task, thanks for the advice and I will check out those posts, sounds interesting :)

      • Cate Pane: The Clear Parent July 25, 2014 at 9:28 am #

        I’ll see if I can send some links to you! Cate

  6. Bronwyn Joy @ Journeys Of The Fabulist July 24, 2014 at 9:19 am #

    At the moment I am very focussed on *improvement* as in *you’ve improved a lot* (over time period X/in this particular department/etc). You can do this or that better now.

    And I try not to make it too much about *and you can improve a lot more if you keep trying* (I hope to leave that as an exercise for the alert listener… although sometimes I think the point needs to be made more explicitly!)

  7. One Gentleman July 24, 2014 at 5:26 pm #

    No matter what goal you imagine, it is possible. As long as you believe in you, I believe in you.

    • Cate Pane: The Clear Parent July 25, 2014 at 9:27 am #

      I like this because the compliment centers on the child’s goal! Affirming a child’s dream is very powerful. Thanks, Cate

  8. Annette Harrison July 24, 2014 at 7:32 pm #

    I’m glad you’re my child.

  9. Design College Chick July 25, 2014 at 2:21 pm #

    If there’s anyone I love more than you, it’s you.

  10. art & life notes July 25, 2014 at 4:23 pm #

    This is almost the flip side to Annette’s. Once in a while I would tell my kids, “I’m really glad I get to be your dad.”
    I think the parent-child relationship can seem inevitable or obligatory to a child who hasn’t known anything else, and I liked the idea of my kids knowing that I really did “choose” them in some sense.

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